Conversations

I remember very clearly when I came out to my parents as bisexual. Admittedly, I put it in different words, I was in a heterosexual relationship at the time and was on the phone. Yet I was still unsure what to expect.It all went surprisingly well, I think. And here is another such story.

My friend, S, was on her way to meeting me when she overheard a conversation. She shared it with me and since then, the story has stayed with me, so I wanted to share it.

A girl and a boy were walking in front of her, let's call them Emily and Tom. Tom had always been afraid of coming out to his parents. Mind you, this is liberal England we're talking about. This Tom had recently been dating someone and had broken up with him, let's call him Stephan. Stephan was still very much in love with Tom and wanted to keep him in his life, whatever the cost. So, he made a low desperate move. He blackmailed Tom to stay with him, else he would tell Tom's parents that he was gay. Tom was afraid and considered staying with Stephan but of course he soon realised the inevitability facing him. Tom decided, despire his great fear, to speak to his parents- not only did he not want to stay with Stephan, he also wanted to be free of any power Stephan may have over him, for holding his secret. He spoke to his parents and, to his great surprise, they accepted him without judgement and criticism. This is the story Tom told his friend Emily, while my friend S was walking to meet me.

I simply find it somewhat of a mood-lifter to know that Tom's life changed for the better and he now feels accepted and calmer, and it all came out of unrequited love and blackmail. I am sure many of you may know people who have been through it, have been through coming out themselves or are yet to take such a step. Maybe your family disapproves of the sexuality or the race or age of your partner. Everyone has a different story, but should you need advice, I only have one advice to give- be honest and respectful to yourself and the people who you love. Tell them the truth, stand your ground and show respect for them- you are having a hard time, but they may be experiencing just as many difficulties- to accept you, to accept themselves, to accept that they are not as open minded as they thought... Hopefully, (yes, it's a cliché and you know what is coming) at the end of it you will find yourself stronger, freer and closer to your family

It is your life, you only have one of it and, in my opinion, living a  lie is not living at all.